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[Tuesday
January 8th, 2008
11:48pm] |
arghy argh
i really hate how something so small can just bring you down *snap* just like that.
it's nothing serious but i just feel so stupid and blind and juvinille. like really, i don't understand how i could POSSIBLY be so shy and so obnoxious and annoying at the same time.
also.. i hate how people can be so open with their feelings when i just keep them bottled up and no one knows that i even feel them. i mean ahhhh i just wanna like explode. i am not going to go up to someone and be like 'i really like you' because i just feel like an idiot and i'm not like that at all.. but when you come to me and tell me EVERYTHING that is on your mind just makes me wish that i could do the same but i really just can't. i mean i want to but i just freeze up and i have nothing to say.
i really am going to try and make a difference in my life this year..
i just have to find out what i need to do in order to make these changes because as of now i am clueless.. ughhhh
its just the end of the end of the world
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[Monday
October 8th, 2007
1:31am] |
laaa dee daaa
i am so confused with my life it's crazy
but im thinking things are looking up
maybe.. haha
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[Thursday
September 20th, 2007
7:16pm] |
My life is so awkward.
but i definatly like grade 10 a lot better than last year.
blah i wish things would work themselves out.. because it seems like i really suck at it. but whatever, doesn't faze me.
i have soccer tomorrow and pretty sure the last time i did any excersise was terry fox fun.. and that was quite the walk, i thought i was going to die.
bahahahaha townie boys for fall fest danceee, oh my gosh ;) haha marissa :P
i am so bored.
this was a waste of energy
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[Saturday
September 15th, 2007
6:14pm] |
so i got to go to the bay dance last night.. quite the night
went to holly's, and then to her camper. her brother seems like quite the character as far as i can tell. he:
-snorted sugar
-ran the tap over a pillow that someone spilled beer on
-rode betty's bike around like a maniac
it was a riot. so me and jess were not walking so we layed on the back of luke's truck from the camper to the dance. we prayed to god out loud that we wouldn't get pulled over or anything like that. we didn't, so yeah.. haha
i saw ellen! haha i met all her friends and then we chilled with brady. hes my new BFF apparently.. haha
i cried a bit.. :( i was so upset i didn't know what to do so now i'm all confused but you can't just forget what someone says to you. especially when your just wishing and hoping that they aren't lying. but i do feel terrible.
but yeah..
'i love you more than i love sleep'
♥
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[Wednesday
August 29th, 2007
12:43am] |
school is pretty close...
this summer was, to sum it up, pretty shitty.
but i had the oppurtunity to meet so many new people and i have gotten closer to people who i had drifted from.
i realized that i really never will get what i want in life.. i don't know if it's just me, or if it's everyone else. i'm thinking that the problem is me. FYI i'm talking about boyzz.. i feel like i'm just a rebound chick because someone better left them. nuff bout that, now.
i love how talking to certain people can lighten your day. last night when i talked to jessica i felt so much better about the situation that is my life. we're gonna get drunk sometime apparently, lol. pumped!
i love when people say nice things about you and it makes you feel so much better. like when someone notices that you look nice, or just says you're a good person. i try my hardest to be the kindest person that i can to others and i know it doesn't always pull through but the only time's i'm rude to people are because i'm nervous.. i'm always nervous.. i'm trying to stop and it's working..
i have changed a lot over the summer. i've realized that things are way more different than they were a few years a go. i realize how dumb i was. i realize how shitty i looked, lol (me and my smudged eye liner, :P) i realized how hard i tried.. i still try hard and i know in a few years i'm going to look back and realize that it wasn't nessicary to dwell that much on how i appeared to other people. i'll realize that i should have just enjoyed myself instead. i know thats what i say even though i don't believe it now.
i remember starting high school.. i had like, no friends and i was so dumb.. i realized i'm still dumb but i'm going to go into grade 10 knowing what to expect from other people. what i hate is the fact that i have to be more independent.. which i am not at all.
my dreams are starting to get all crazy and frequent again. the other night it was such a weird one.. i kissed someone really nice and then they told me how ugly i was, or something along those lines.. it was so disapointing. then i had a nother one about the beach and it was just good, as far as i can remember. al of the dreams i have where i kiss someone don't turn out well.. there was one where i kissed someone i really liked and he told me it was terrible.. (i don't have a lot of kiss dreams, only like 2 really:P but still, they didn't end well)
i love how my dreams revolve around what happens that day.. i find it so cool how they work. i love dreams.. except i can't tell if mine are real or fake sometimes.. which is kind of freaky but no big deal.
i love how i used to update this everyday.. man i had no life
man i still don't have a life
dad's prob going to come downstairs and be like 'why are you still up..' and i'd be like 'uh, goodnight!'
i hate the fish plant. end of story. i like, never work. its so slack
it's kinda sad how different i talk now.. these words have made their way nto my vocabulary..
obvy
prob
no big deal
whateve
man
sketch
totally
deff
and the list goes on..
no big deal though! doesn't faze
well i really don't have anything worth saying.. but if anyone reads with, kudos! because no one is ever on LJ anymore.. ooh yeah!
GOOD NIGHT EVERYONE!
or NO ONE :)
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[Tuesday
July 24th, 2007
12:24am] |
i'm so excited for tomorrow!
this summer is going to be so fucked but i'm ready for it.
i can't wait until all the summer people are up. that is going to be great. on sunday at the beach, we played volly ball and it was.. interesting! they know i'm skilled, they're just too pussy to admit it =P
i really don't have much to write, but my intention was to look back on some stuff from last summer.. my goodness, what fun.
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[Friday
May 4th, 2007
4:31pm] |
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SOOOO
i never update.
Rugby has started. It's great, i like the running. I kind of suck at tackling but i'll learn (i hope). Work started last night. THREE HOURS. WTF happend to the fish plant? i thought i would be there for 6+ hours.
drama takes over peoples lives.
So after the last dance, i am a lot closer to certain people. But i feel like a bitch too because i feel stressed. i've been sick since god knows when (before christmas, wtf?)
Next dance, i'm excited. Mary(hopfully!!) is going to come up!!! and hopefully i will go to ashley's before and everything will be fun and we will all party hard! I'll have to take my camera but i am so scared i'm going to lose it/break it because i'm an idiot. Last time i had to carry it around the whole time, lmao :P
i have 2 sweet bruises on my leg. they ar great
K to the E to the L S E Y, boy, i'm KELSEY!
♥
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[Saturday
April 21st, 2007
9:48am] |
Dance last night. Was pretty okay, but not the best.
Mallory drank waaaaaay too much.
Everything else was pretty good.
I took pictures with my camera finally! i was so happy, lmao. Haleigh didn't go but i don't think she is going to come to any of them now.. (on account of breaking up with michael). He is such a bad drunk, it's crazy. he gave me a zillion time a bunch hugs and was said "i love you! as a friend.. you are my best friend! that is a girl!" and on and on. He also told me he liked me, but i'm not going to take it seriously.. he was drunk as fuck.
i drank some stuff that burned my throat, haha. i'm cool!
It makes me sad because when i 'them' together i feel bad that i like/liked him.. and i also feel bad that it might not work out for anyone (espcially myself)
i'm freezing, jeez
today i have to do 4H shit and paint numbers on the buoys. WOOT excited
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[Thursday
March 15th, 2007
4:24pm] |
I really should stop listening to certain people, or person more like.
I have a welt on my arm from being a horse, with a broken extention cord wrapped around my waist (the welts are from mallory slapping me with a t shirt, ouch?)
I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I hate how i feel guilty about everything when other people can blow things off without any worrys. Pisses me right off. Why do i have to be the idiot to make the mistakes? I don't know
Mr Milligton is like, pissed at us. He really doesn't like us
Nikky Gallant calls me "George Washington". Why? Don't ask me, but he refuses to learn my real name.
I am freeezing!
My bus is getting a servalence camera because the peopleon it suck. The "rumor" (IE what kendra told me and everyone else) was that they were smoking weed or something in the back. They were only burning the seats, of course, but i got caught up with it. Oh well, i'll have to get it go i suppose. But i think we are getting it because a)people 'fight' people b)people ruin the seats with their lighters c)people throw fire crackers out of the bus window d)people pick on crabs, and crabs picks on us e)we overall suck at life. The upside to all of this stuff? I am the last person on the bus.
fuck tomorrow, i dont' want to go to school and take 2 fucking tests. Gooodness!
I can't wait until summer. Friggin, beach, ontario, good ol' lovin' from the summer boys (JUST KIDDING maybe)
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[Saturday
March 10th, 2007
1:17am] |
Today we went skating, was great fun. I only really fell once, horray!!
Dance dance dance, exciting stuff.
So i got to chill with Chris and re-live our old dance moves, go us!
Then i was talking to Libby and Dylan comes up with a beer and takes us away and then he got kicked out, hahaha, i died.
Danced with Courtney, she is my dance buddy for sure. We rule the floor, haha.
Danced with good old Calvin and Coady. Talked to Jessica about all this drama thats going on, not cool at all. I don't like that i am stuck in between, but it really isn't my business i suppose.
So yeah, i am feeling really dumb lately.. There are somethings i want but know that i can't have, and there are things i can have, but i don't want them until i can't have them. It drives me nuts. I guess i'm the jealous kind. I feel horrible about it, and i feel like i'm using people.. but then it also feels like they're using me. I can't seem to make up my fucking mind about anything, and it drives me up the fucking wall! Like, i can't tell if your acting differently around me, and i can tell when you're flirting with me, but it doesn't mean a thing usually.
This was such a good dance though. Such the perfect day :) Love it all
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[Saturday
February 10th, 2007
3:04pm] |
Dance tonight, awesome fun.
I had a werid dream last night and the night before. One was of mallory telling me why everyone hated me and it made no sense. Last night was about the dance but me and emily were on these scooter board things on the ice and we were hysterically laughing. That is all i remeber, they were so dumb.
I found a song i was looking for, but i can't find it on soulseek. Dang. It is Waterfall-Griffin House. It is on the rembrandt comercial. It so pretty.
So i think i have to call Evan today, even thogh i do not use phones. But i am having to convince him to go to the dance tonight and it will be funny.
Um, i need some lunch. I had a banana and a vitamin today and thats it.. Concidering i woke up at 1 (oooops.)
I reallly should go.
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[Friday
February 9th, 2007
4:11pm] |
Today was long and boring. Didn't do too much that was interesting.
Dance tomorrow, should be fun fun fun, but i need some sober buddies. Chris won't admit to being on, even though he is sober, and my buddy.
Um, okay. Today Evan said "I bet i can still pick you up" so he did and he slammed me into the locker so i am positive i am going to get a bruise because it really hurt. But it was hilarious, i must say.
We watched some of the Basketball game at 2 ish. It was all good and fun
My report card was pretty damn good, lowest was 83. I don't get 70's as much now which is kind of nice.
I am really bored and tired and blah. I really really really want mom ro make soup for supper. That would make my day worth while.
Goodbye, my little pals.
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[Thursday
February 8th, 2007
4:05pm] |
Yesterday was town to get nails done. Mine are nice except that i messed up the thumbs. Oh well, nothing wrong with that.
Virgina got angry with us, and was like, yeah, angry. So the ride in was kind of interesting. We had Myself Melinda and Jorie in the back and Virgina and Sheila in you front. Fun fun.
My nose is not all gross anymore. Yipip! I hope my cold is leaving.
I am in a keen mood. I am keen on Saturday, i am keen on feeling better, and just.. good.
Plus:I love how people don't give a shit that i'm trying to do something good. I'm not a fucking retard when i'm trying to be nice.
Mary, where did you go?
5 months ago today it was a friday night and the worst day of school in my life.
This post does not have much substance
We had Big mac today for french and we had a long conversation about him last night. I really don't like him because he doesn't know what he is talking about. Plus, he just talks too much.
Ugh, i'm so boring. Plus no one update dates this sucker but me. Good then.
Bye.
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[Tuesday
February 6th, 2007
4:43pm] |
Band was fun other than the playing part. Not quite as fun though, as making tape jewelry with painters tape. That was a hoot.
Tomorrow i am going with the same crew as Friday. Fun stuff, i was really loud and junk then, i hope i wasn't that much of an idiot. And i also hope 10-12 year old boys do not [try to] whistle at us.
Community school last night was fun.. The french bit was kind of blah, but only because it was kind of stuff we already knew. But good good stuff. Then after, i hung out with all the EK guys (like, evan, lukas, brandon, tyler(g), tyler(h), chad, and other little kids) and it was a riot. Evan gave me a hug because he slapped me. Aww, i miss him more every day (even though i see him pretty much everyday, haha). Our grad picture is the worst of ALL of them.. Evans hair is stuck in lukas's fly(which was down), kendra had her eyes shut, tyler looks weird, i look so frazzeled.. it is just bad, haha.
We also looked at the other ones and:
Evan-look, look at chris(bailey)... he looks like he is going to eat andrew
me-*dies laughing*
He used to be like, bigger, and after grade 9 he got skinny and looks so much different. He threw as piece of ice at my back once because the grade 4's didn't want any little kids around their fort. It really did hurt, but the retarded teachers never really did care. Oh well, chris is cool.
Kendra is being tres annoying about this and she should grow up and learn not to screw up peoples lives, because no one wants her telling everyone lies about something that hasn't even happened.
I Miss tyler holland! He is in my religion class which is fun, but i still miss that kid
I have nothing else to say really.
Tyler says:
no but i have to go save the priness
wtf?
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[Monday
February 5th, 2007
5:20pm] |
Ugh i hate this computer so much right now, it is driving me up the wall.
And mom is being a bitch to me why? Because i got a 79 on my french exam, which is not bad considering i bombed a whole page. She can just fuck off right now. I think a lot of people could just fuck right off lately, but i'll stop here.
Woke up and went to EMB which was so dumb. I feel like shit, i look like shit, and some things piss me off.
If this computer won't let my play this fucking song, i'm going to crack, and freak out. DRIVES ME CRAZY.
I am such a bitch, but i really do want to smash this computer into the ground.
I cursed a lot in this post. Whoop dee-doo.
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[Sunday
February 4th, 2007
3:35pm] |
I got my AE sweater and tank in the mail. Good stuff!
I wish i could sing.. 1) i suck and 2) i am sick THANK YOU FATHER AND MOTHER FOR THAT ONE. My whole family is sick and all coughy-cough.
Last night, after the dance was cancelled for NO APPARENT REASON i watched 2 and a half hours of Match Game, only after waiting She's The Man. Good Grief
The Match Game was good though, they were all good ones, and yeah. Then mom came and starting saying her own answers and that was kind of a piss off. Most Def.
Ooh well, me and Jorie didn't get to wear our new shirts last night, boo, and i didn't get to capture all the goss about mon petit amis.
Mother gave me a liquor speech. Hah, how sad. And guess who would have been chaperoning last night? LINDA that is who. Which would have been a riot if i were to drink. Haha, oh goodness. I need a life.
Kristin, i am coming to visit you Wednesday because i lurve you and miss you and you don't seem to want to talk to me, so it will be like an obligation type of deal. Cool eh?
Have a good day, one and all, and i will see you one the flip side.
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[Saturday
February 3rd, 2007
12:33pm] |
Town yesterday, quite fun. When was the last time Myself, Melinda and Jorie were in a car together? Um.. i honestly cannot remember.
I bought 2 shirts. Daaance shirts :P One is like.. a tube top but nice? and one is black and a tank top and nice.
I am soo excited for tonight! Like, literally pumped.
Though i will be sober and stuff.
But who cares!
OH at the 4H thingy, there was a whole bunch of like, 10-12 year old boys and we had to walk by like, a thousand of them and they [tried to] whistle. And we were dying but i yelled "THANK YOU" and one kid was like "HOLLA!" and i died.
What am i going to do all day? I want to go for a run buuut.. Well, maybe i can. It just like, snowed haha and the roads are icy.
Hurray for eastern kings nerd reunions. Who would have guessed that there was such things as a "Rebellion walk?". Well, we invented them.
My computer is so messed up!
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[Thursday
February 1st, 2007
2:56pm] |
Holy shit i hate hate hate this computer so much.
Why do i even update this thing? I live such a boring life, yo
Except the downloading things is working a bit now. This is the 5th time i've tried, so it bettr work.
I had another weird dream. At one point someone (I think it was Brandon?? No clue why) asked me on MSN is i listened to "I've seen it all-Bjork and Thom Yorke" and i was like "Uh, YEAH". That is all i can remember now. I swear, there must be something wrong with me, i'm getting such weird dreams, especially lately. Oh my god it took me a while to rememer how to spell special. So dumb.
I'll tell you two things.
1)I kind of miss my life 2 years ago.
2)I kind of hate how i took people for granted.
C'est-ce que c'est le point?
There is none
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[Wednesday
January 31st, 2007
4:44pm] |
Exam today was dumb, i guess i did okay.
I made mr noodles, and oh my god they tasted good, haha.
Also, we went to the pharmasave, and i was like "Kay" so i was looking at hair stuff and a convoy of grade 9 guys walked by and were like "Uh hi" and it was akward and junk. Good fun!
Um, i kind of want to get my money from the lighthouse because i don't know if i'll ever get it at this point. Haha i sound greedy
I don't have to go to school for the next two days. WOO HOO 4 day weekend!
And friday is not manicure day.. next wednesday is. Hip hip Horray! i suppose
Also, i cannot download music without it crapping out on me. DUMB i say.
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[Tuesday
January 30th, 2007
2:15pm] |
Oh my god, Brandon is retarded!
Exam really wasn't that hard. I bombed on a couple of things but i don't think i failed it.
Oh, and again with the weird dreams! Saurday nights was so messed up, Sunday nights was so random! At one point, dad got his hair cut and was like "She wouldn't cut my hair any shorter. It's stil too long! I don't want to pay for this!" (We were on vacation?) and in the morning i was eating breakfast and he started saying "Does so and so still cut hair?" and mom was like "not in the evenings" And he was like "It doesn't matter i just need a hair cut". It was kind of strange.
I will admit. I looked soo skanky today. Chad made fun of me cause of it and i was like "Well, i'm not wearing tapered gym pants". Everyone at their table was staring at us, and it was kind of creepy.
Yesterday, Beast of Burden came on and it was such a nice feeling. That is a major summer anthem, i'll tell you that.
Mummy got me Vitamins! Apparently i lack them because of the ridges in my nails. Tres intersting.
Oh my goodness. It makes me really sad that we are not going to Montreal now... Well, i'm positive we are not going. And it makes my heart go "oh". Hahaha, yeah, it does
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